Thomas Griffin 7/26/24
Join Our Email List
Get new content delivered directly to your inbox.
The Empty Tomb Project is a non-profit organization – 501(c)(3) – please support our mission by making a tax-deductible donation. DONATE HERE
Read “Empty Tomb Project: The Magazine”
July 26 is the feast day of St. Joachim and St. Anne, the parents of the Blessed Virgin Mary and the grandparents of Jesus Christ. While we do not know much about them, we do know that they produced, with God’s help, the Mother of God.
Mary was strong, patient, faithful and obedient in the face of adversity. She was all that a parent could hope for (even discounting the fact that Catholics believe she never committed a sin). An important question we can ask ourselves is, how did Mary’s parents do it? What does it take to be a great Christian parent and why are they necessary?
Pope St. John Paul II once said, “as the family goes, so goes the nation, and so goes the whole world in which we live.” Civilization is built upon the collection of human beings and those individual persons first exist as a part of a family. Every single person to ever live shares this fact: we come from a mother and a father. Parents shape children and children become adults who inhabit society. Therefore, there is nothing more important than parenting.
A 2023 Pew Research Study provided statistics on the experience and mindset of parents. Roughly 62% of parents state that being a parent is harder than they expected with 29% reporting that being a parent is “stressful all or most of the time.” However, only 30% claimed that being a parent was the most important part of who they are as a person today. While it is a large part of their life it does not define them.
Here is a stark contrast to the mindset of Joachim and Anne. Is it possible that we sometimes give more effort at work or on the golf course or at the gym than we do at home? I would find it very unlikely that Joachim and Anne would claim that anything was more important than being a mom and a dad. Not career or hobbies or even their own health and well-being. As a parent of two children, with one on the way, I would hope that my boys know that being their dad does define me more than anything else.
The Pew Study also found that the highest priority of most parents is that their children have steady and successful jobs as adults. “Roughly nine-in-ten parents say it’s extremely or very important to them that their children be financially independent when they are adults, and the same share say it’s equally important that their children have jobs or careers they enjoy.”
Almost 50% of parents state that raising their children to be hard-working is very important and 35% state that it is important for their children to have the same religious beliefs that they do. These stats follow the logic that parents do not believe that being mom and dad defines them. It does not define them because they neglect the importance of faith.
If Americans desire to impact their children’s lives and pass on their religious faith they can begin by simply spending more time with them. A great way to “schedule” time together is to plan to eat dinner together more often. According to several other studies nearly 90% of parents state that they believe that eating dinner together as a family is critical for the health of their children and their family dynamic but only half of dinners in America are eaten as a family. The National Institute of Health reported that “a growing body of research suggests that children and adolescents who share frequent meals with their families report better nutrition indicators, family relationships and mental health.”
Family dinners are a simple start but a great way to ensure that you are talking to your children each day and sharing your life with them. Making a no cell phone rule at the table can aid this effort as well. Our kids might be unhappy to begin the process but we all know that, as kids, there is nothing we crave more than to have the undivided attention of mom and dad. Joachim and Anne must have done this and passed down its importance to Mary.
On a more spiritual level, studies show that it is critical that parents have unplanned and casual conversations with their kids about their faith if they wish to hand it on to them. Dr. Christian Smith, from the University of Notre Dame is a sociologist who has done great work on the best practices for passing down the faith and this is one pivotal piece of the puzzle. Parents ought to bring their kids to weekly worship, that is a given, but the stats also show that regular faith conversations impact children in a huge way.
Dr. Smith reports that “children who later in life practice some form of their parents’ religion report that religion was a frequent topic of discussion at home during their youth.” They get to experience that faith is not just about what you do on Sunday but that it is a relationship with God.
He also said that a huge factor for passing down the Christn faith is that parents are authoritative but also compassionate. “In short,” Smith said, “American children are more likely to embrace the religion of their parents when they enjoy a relationship with them that expresses both clear parental authority and affective warmth.” I’d imagine that the parenting style of Joachim and Anne, as well as most of the great Christian parents reaching back into history, was strong but interpersonal, not cruel.
To be a great Christian parent means that we are strongly compassionate, that we are present, that parenting defines us and that God is always in the picture. As many families choose to follow the path of the world, may we honor Joachim and Anne today by making our role as parents the most important aspect of our lives.
Thomas Griffin is the chairperson of the religion department at a Catholic high school on Long Island where he lives with his wife and two sons. He has a masters degree in theology and is the Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Empty Tomb Project: The Magazine. He is the author of Let Us Begin: Saint Francis’s Way of Becoming Like Christ and Renewing the World.
Join Our Email List
Get new content delivered directly to your inbox.
Empty Tomb Project 