Thomas Griffin 12/30/23
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Everyone you talk to appears to be rushing around attempting to accomplish the insurmountable each week. Calendars are filled with countless activities and events that need to be attended and planned ahead for.
This is especially true for families who have younger children. The pressure put on parents for their kids to join multiple sports teams, play instruments, and go to parties has become a phenomenon that is crushing family life. Parents have the desire to provide their children with great experiences that will form them into great young people and adults one day. As a dad of a three year old and a one year old most of these busy calendar events are in my near future. Even though life already seems very chaotic.
One recent and honest question for my wife and I is: what is the cost of living such a busy life?
Time is not unlimited. We have to make choices with how we will spend it. If time is spent doing something that means there is something else that must be sacrificed for it. It seems to me that the first to go is dinner as a family and one-on-one time with our kids. As we begin a new year I know I need to reflect on that.
Pope St. John Paul II once said, “as the family goes, so goes the nation, and so goes the whole world in which we live.” Every single person is born into a family because God knows that we are not meant to live alone. The manger scenes at Christmas convey this deep truth. The communion that a family shares makes us like God, who is literally an eternal family of Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
According to several studies nearly 90% of parents state that they believe that eating dinner together as a family is critical for the health of their children and their family dynamic. There is a reason why Jesus spent so much time sharing meals with people. However, in today’s world under 50% of dinners are eaten together as a family in America. That means there are about 140 days a year that families do not eat together.
Instead families are running around to a variety of events for their kids or parents are simply working later and later. Dinner time is so pivotal because it is the place where families are able to share their company and their day in an uninterrupted and (hopefully) screen-less way. Looking at each other in the face and making personal connections about the joys and struggles of our day binds families together.
In 2024, slow down – eat with your family.
The immensity of events on the calendar also means that children spend less overall time with their parents and siblings. Now it is healthy and necessary for kids to be with others their own age, but is it possible that kids are less formed in their character today because the importance of faith and parental formation is diminished? Parents are not the friends of their children. They love them but they are called to parent them not befriend them. Implementing time for dads to be alone with one of their children and moms to be alone with one of their children breeds a relationship of uniqueness but it also brings about a more motherly and fatherly relationship.
Children desire to be led and they strongly desire alone time with their parents. So, in 2024 let’s slow down and spend time with them because, sooner than later, they will be out of our homes and our relationships with them will be radically different.
In order to accomplish either of these tasks we must commit to slowing down. There is no other way. In order to slow down I know that I need to evaluate what we do as a family and what we might need to step away from in order to become a healthier and stronger unit. Everything that we choose to walk away from will be a sacrifice but the rewards and benefits will be beyond our estimation.
So, is your life too busy? Are you ever able to slow down and simply spend time with your loved ones? What are the activities or work engagements that you can step away from?
Answering those questions will allow us to become more present to the ones that we know are most important to us. Who knows, if enough families do so we might even change the world – families have the capacity to do so.
Thomas Griffin is the chairperson of the religion department at a Catholic high school on Long Island where he lives with his wife and two sons. He has a masters degree in theology and is the Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Empty Tomb Project: The Magazine.
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