Thomas Griffin 4/1/24
Join Our Email List
Get new content delivered directly to your inbox.
Read “Empty Tomb Project: The Magazine”
Doubting Thomas is inside all of us.
Human beings can easily lose hope. We can be cynical. We can honestly look for God and not find Him. We can view the wreckage of our times or our own personal circumstances and question how all of this could happen if God is who He says He is.
When we think this way, we are like Thomas. And, that is normal. That is a part of the process. A key question that I am trying to honestly wrestle with is: what do I do with my doubts and what do they do to me?
Often we can take our doubts about the faith, our fear about the future or our wounds from the past and we can allow them to control us. All of these arenas must be consistently opened in our relationship with God. We can learn from St. Thomas by bringing what is truly on our minds and in our hearts to God.
Divine Mercy Sunday is upon us. This weekend we will hear the gospel account of Jesus’s appearance in the upper room to his disciples. At his first appearance in that room, Thomas is not present. He tells his closest friends that he will not believe that Jesus is risen from the dead, unless he can physically see him with his own eyes and touch him with his own hands.
The doubt of Thomas causes division.
I think this is the flaw in Thomas, that Jesus most desperately desires to heal. To ask why or to experience feelings of darkness. That is alright. However, taking those feelings and giving God an ultimatum is the problem. Thomas was willing to break his relationship with Jesus because of his doubt.
He was willing to do this, even though the man he traveled with for three years, as well as other women who had seen Jesus risen from the dead, vowed that they saw Christ. Why would someone with the experience of Thomas form such a rash position?
The doubt of Thomas is a wound.
We all have wounds. we all carry scars. They were something about the heart of Thomas that prompted him to take his doubt and radicalize it. Maybe he was hurt that Jesus appeared knowing that he was not present in the room? Maybe that made him feel inadequate among the other disciples or in the eyes of Christ?
Or maybe this just reveals another glimpse into the brutality of a crucifixion. Thomas knew what it meant for someone to die in such a way. He thought there was no way someone could come back from that.
Whatever the reasoning was, the doubt of Thomas and his woundedness is healed through the scars and wounds of Christ. Jesus shows up in the upper room, this time, when Thomas is present, and he came just for him.
In looking at Thomas, he loved him, and he wanted to break the divide of doubt that separated Thomas from loving him as he desired. This is how God operates. This is the mercy of God. Our wounds, whatever they are, must be placed inside of his scars. Then can they be restored. Only then, can we see the mercy of God in its fullness.
In the eyes of God, no one’s worth is equal to their worst choice or quality. Your largest sin does not define you. Your identity and dignity is seen by looking at and making contact with the risen Christ. But, he keeps his wounds for a reason. His scars help us to identify him. His wounds show us that it is alright to have scars.
Mercy should force us to admit how we are like Thomas. This weekend ought to remind us that we are all fragile, imperfect, and broken. We all need the Lord to increase our faith and trust in him. No matter what we carry, no matter what doubts we might have, can we give him more of our life? Can we see that his scars reveal the depth of his reckless love?
We need mercy. Yes, because we sin and are in need of forgiveness. But more so, because mercy is what He desires to give you. So, what are your doubts? What are your wounds? Give them to him and watch as he gives you access to his merciful heart – the heart that was broken open for the love of you.
Thomas Griffin is the chairperson of the religion department at a Catholic high school on Long Island where he lives with his wife and two sons. He has a masters degree in theology and is the Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Empty Tomb Project: The Magazine.
Join Our Email List
Get new content delivered directly to your inbox.
Empty Tomb Project 