Theresa Marino 6/8/23
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During the month of May, Catholic Churches everywhere sang Marian hymns, adorn sanctuaries with blue linens and weave crowns of white roses in the Blessed Mother’s honor. Every little church girl is taught about Mary’s special role in salvation history as God’s mother and learns to pray to this patron who is “full of grace” before they know most anything else about being Catholic.
But when those little church girls grow up and their bodies change, they face the insecurities and challenges of womanhood and the hardships of modernity, it can hit like a ton of bricks that they are so very far from that ideal woman they so admire. How can we relate to Mary without being overwhelmed by the simultaneous bigness (Mary Queen of the Universe!) and littleness (poor teenage handmaiden) of who she is? If we’re being honest, there is some hardcore cognitive dissonance that settles into the gap between the notion of who Mary is, and who we are in light of her specialness.
How are we to relate with the perfect woman, as imperfect women? How are we to confide in a friend who didn’t have original sin, when we feel the effects of it multiple times a day? How can we be our true selves before a mother completely full of grace, when we often feel completely full of…well, something else entirely?
One suggestion is to look up Mary’s titles and pray about which one is relatable to you on any given day. A simple Google search brings us to an extensive list of the names associated with Our Lady ranging from Queen of Heaven and Earth to Mother of Good Counsel. Upon meditation, one finds that there are tiers, so to speak, that those titles can be divided into.
Namely, (1) the lofty titles (relating to Heavenly bodies, crowns of gold, or perfected virtues), (2) the down-to-earth titles (relating to the female experience of being a mother, wife and member of society) and (3) the intercessory titles (relating to how Mary is called upon for help by her spiritual children in times of need). Some examples are listed below, but you can do your own investigative research to see which of Mary’s titles hits the bullseye of your heart on this particular day of your life.
Lofty Titles (for when you need a hero):
Queen of All Saints, Woman of the Apocalypse, Co-Redemptrix
Down-To-Earth Titles (for when you need a sister):
New Eve, Our Lady of Charity, Our Lady of Families, Our Lady of Good Voyage
Intercessory Titles (for when you need a mom):
Joy of All Who Sorrow, Mother of Peace, Help of Christians
It is worth considering that Our Lady has appeared many times, to many people, all around the world. Each time, wearing something specific to that culture, speaking to the events of that age in history, and in the native tongue of the visionaries themselves. Mary is all things to all people, and offers her presence and her intercessory graces to us in any shape or form that will be beneficial to us at our given states in life. Like any good mother, Our Lady condescends to the level of her children to answer their questions and make her warmth closely felt in times of need or fear.
She has given us physical devotionals such as the Holy Rosary, the Miraculous Medal and the Brown Scapular to help us materialize her presence in a tactile way. And she intercedes for us constantly at the throne of her Son who, as many saints say, cannot deny her a single request. She, indeed, is both the biggest and the smallest female figure in history – which should be of some comfort to us women who often shift into and out of the spotlight of our own lives as called upon.
Women of faith – take some time to pray with Mary’s titles this May. Ask her to reveal herself as a queen, wife, mother, star or servant to you, depending on the place in your heart which most needs her friendship at the moment. You may be surprised just which of your prayers are answered, or virtues called forth, in Mary’s good company.
Theresa Marino is a New York native who has served the Catholic Church throughout her twenties in various ministry capacities. Currently a middle school Religion Teacher, she has also worked in high school campus ministry, music ministry, mission work and parish settings.
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