Sarah Griffin 6/7/23
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“Indeed all the hairs on your head are numbered.” (Luke 12:7)
At 20 weeks gestation, the halfway point of pregnancy, your own mother’s reproductive system was fully formed within your grandmother’s uterus. This means that your mom had somewhere between 6 and 7 million (immature) eggs, a number that only decreased from there: at the time of her birth, she was down to between 1 and 2 million, and at the time of puberty, down to between 300,000 to 400,000 eggs with a loss of approximately 1,000 eggs each month. No new eggs were formed or created after 20 weeks.
The odds of you being born were one in several million, and when you multiply those odds by the uniqueness of your genetic code, you have arrived at a near impossibility. Your existence is nearly impossible, and actually unrepeatable. And yet, here you are. Whether you were your mother’s first child, last child, or only child; whether your mother prayed fervently for you to be conceived, or just the opposite; whether you were loved by your biological mother, or another mother – God wanted you here. Regardless of the circumstances surrounding your own birth, you were born on purpose, and with a purpose. Before, during, and after you were born, God called you by name.
“I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” (Psalm 139:14)
My first pregnancy was a very difficult one. For me, the 20 week milestone was met with a rare fetal diagnosis – doctors were not able to predict if my child would make it through the pregnancy nor what quality of life would be like if birth was achieved. Both prayer and tears flowed constantly – I used to sit in the Nursery reading a baby book called On the Night You Were Born by Nancy Tillman, and just cry my eyes out. The book reads,
On the night you were born,
The moon smiled with such wonder
That the stars peeked in to see you
And the night wind whispered,
“Life will never be the same.”
Because there had never been anyone like you…
Ever in the world.
I knew this pregnancy, the joy of the child growing inside me and the suffering of not knowing the outcome, was part of God’s plan – my mom taught me that. This life would never be the same because I was already changed. I knew the love I had for this child, what she had already taught me, and the love I had for my husband and how his support was God’s hand.
“For I know the plans I have for you.” (Jeremiah 29:11)
It wasn’t until I actually gave birth to my first daughter and looked into her little face that I fully understood my own mother’s love for me. It was almost as if my own life flashed before my eyes as I welcomed this new one. Pregnancy and childbearing unlocked a level of understanding the unconditional love between mother and child that I didn’t know I was missing.
Looking into my daughter’s face – instantly and fiercely loving her – and simultaneously understanding the depths of my own mother’s love for me was like looking into the face of God. This experience has allowed me to fully contemplate His greatness and incredible love for all of us.
Today, and every day really, if at all possible, hug your mother. Look upon the face of God in the love you share. In the statistically impossible existence of your life, view the one person who helped you get here.
Sarah Griffin is a wife and mother of two girls who lives on Long Island. She is a former Catholic school principal and teacher who remains involved in the strengthening of Catholic education.
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