Thomas Griffin 7/28/25
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Last week, Bryan Kohberger was sentenced to four consecutive life sentences plus 10 years for the murder of four college students from the University of Idaho in 2022. The national trial has come to an end and the killer will be placed behind bars for life.
At the sentencing hearing many family members of the victims approached the stand to provide words regarding the impact of their losses. The words of many family members were firm and strong. They were controlled and calculated. They clearly sought to convey that Bryan Kohberger had no influence on their lives anymore.
These individuals, one after another, spoke about how Kohberger didn’t have the right to take the lives of their loved ones. They noted that these victims would have shown mercy to him and accepted him, but he decided to stalk and kill them instead. There was no way that they deserved what had happened to them. They were beautiful and innocent college students simply living their lives.
These family members voiced that the murderer did not win. They also voiced that he was despicable, some telling him that he will go to hell and pay for what he has done. Others called him a joke and pathetic telling him that no one cares about you. One called him “less than human.” For several hours, the testimony continued all in a similar vein: the convicted was worthless and he deserved everything he received in prison. One family member even alluded to the physical abuse that Kohberger can undoubtedly expect in prison.
The victims’ loved ones claimed they weren’t hurting, but they clearly still are. All of them were calm and collected, but their words communicated a desire to tear down the victim. They spoke as if they had moved on but their desire to publicly rip Kohberger down on the national stage revealed the opposite.
All of them except one.
The aunt of one of the victims struck a completely different chord. Xana Kernodle’s aunt, Kim Kernodle, said to Kohberger, “I’ve forgiven you, because I could no longer live with that hate.”
“Any time you want to talk and tell me what happened … I’m here, no judgment,” she noted.
It is hard to imagine the loss that someone experiences from their sister or daughter or friend being murdered in their sleep. To think about the fact that your loved one was also followed, and that this murder was planned meticulously by a criminology doctoral student brings even more pain and anger. The family members that spoke in strong ways against Kohberger are grieving and we cannot fully judge their words. Even though it is several years after the tragedy they are still attempting to comprehend their loss.
Unfortunately, the truth is that when the worst evil possible is done to us it often rears its ugly head even after the act is over. While the family members’ words can be understood in many ways, the eyes of faith see them differently. We are asked to never treat another person as if they were less than a person. No one, despite who they are or what they have done, is subhuman. Kohberger ought to be punished and society ought to be protected but Christ calls us to never define someone by their worst act. Those who die in sin and refuse to repent are judged by God, who knows all things perfectly.
The sentencing hearing of Bryan Kohberger reveals that forgiveness is still one of the most challenging teachings of Jesus. Forgiving one’s enemies is not an option as a disciple – it is a mandate. Forgiveness is difficult because it is the same act no matter how deep and horrid the offense is. That is why the words of Kim Kernodle are so amazing – and challenging.
Her niece was brutally murdered in one of the most vicious ways possible. Her death has been made public to the world. The murderer has shown no remorse and has stared coldly at those speaking against him. And yet: she forgave. The authenticity of her words can be seen in the fact that she gave Kohberger the invitation to meet with her. That is what true forgiveness does. It pushes us to treat the other as other. When we witness someone do this against unspeakable odds, it is truly inspiring, and if we are honest, it probably convicts us of having unforgiving hearts.
Forgiveness is not extremely tough. Kim Kernodle’s words show that forgiveness is not soft. It is not merely a letting go but a validation of someone’s worth beyond their worst moment. Kernodle’s actions ought to push us to consider who we are refusing to forgive. If she can forgive the murderer of her beloved niece, can we forgive that person who has done us wrong?
Today, let us ask for the grace to act like her. Because that is acting like Jesus. Let us forgive our enemies. Doing so will make us like God, the One who forgives us even though we didn’t deserve it.
Thomas Griffin is the chairperson of the religion department at a Catholic high school on Long Island where he lives with his wife and three children. He has a masters degree in theology and is a masters candidate in philosophy. Thomas is the Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Empty Tomb Project: The Magazine. He is the author of Let Us Begin: Saint Francis’s Way of Becoming Like Christ and Renewing the World.
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